TRANSPARENCY! This word just keeps coming to mind. I keep being reminded of the need. I keep having conversations that surround it. While transparency can be so easy we have to make sure it is not clouded or colorful, just clear transparency. We can put our own spin on transparency if we want to. We can use certain words, certain connotations and emphasis, certain thoughts, certain tones that can affect how our transparency is perceived.
I always try to be transparent but wonder lately what color hue I am portraying. I find myself being truthful with a smile and laugh. Complete truth in words being down-played by politeness and social grace. I find if I am honest with some people I get chastised over my truth. In their defense I do have 5 children, a husband, homeschool, and took on more. I mean, I did do it to myself :0) It is hard to know when and who it is safe to be truly transparent with! The obvious aren’t always the best choice. Especially when you are in ministry. So for those of you who think I have it together or that I am in some way more equipped, here it is.
Let’s get transparent!!!
I am TIRED at this moment! Downright exhausted. NOT always but now, yes!
I have moments of sheer overwhelmedness!
Sometimes my kids drive me crazy and I want to drop them off somewhere where they can’t find their way home.
I yell. Sometimes ALL day. Mostly when I am TIRED! or hot. or overwhelmed.
I rarely ever worry. WHY? I leave it to my husband.
I am generally always positive and optimistic. Really although sometimes too much.
Foul language slips from my lips.
I DO NOT have it all together. I AM A MESS! My house is a mess, especially right now.
I praise the sweet name of Jesus when I shower AND brush my teeth in the same day!
I REALLY feel like I can do it all! Most of the time.
I HATE when I am self righteous. It happens. More than I like. And believe me I hate it more than anyone.
I wish my family was closer!
I fear that I will miss the mark with my kids. I fear I won’t point them to Jesus. I fear they will see me and not see Him.
I am blessed with a great man and marriage! I didn’t always feel that way.
My heart breaks for moms and wives who feel alone and unloved!
I pray that EVERYONE would see WHO they are in Christ and that they would know and truly believe their worth to GOD!
I have a past. A past I am not proud of. A past many wouldn’t believe. A past I am grateful for because of the testimony it gives me.
God has SHOWN up BIG in our family! Sometimes I wonder why us and not others.
I sometimes think I am the wrong person and worst possible choice for ministry for mothers.
I. FAIL. DAILY.
I have sought counsel and ended up breaking trust unintentionally.
I KNOW WITHOUT A DOUBT I AM BLESSED! I know that I was given all I have , as difficult and challenging as it may be, as a gift. A gift that keeps me on my knees and constantly seeking Him more. GOOD GIFTS.
I am so thankful that God knew my needs and met them when I didn’t.
I have a bad habit of not realizing the uniqueness of every person.
I am a so grateful for my eternity but said “yes” because of the rest and help Jesus offers us in this life.
Well that is ME! The good, bad, and ugly. I am so grateful that God would take me where I was and walk with me on this journey. That He would help to clean me up a little more each day. That being transparent still shows my heart for Christ. I am so thankful for the influence and ministry He has given me. I am so thankful that I can be transparent and still be used by Him as we work out the junk. I say all this to encourage you! God will use you! I am a mess and He is giving me my heart’s desire to help moms! I hope this encourages you to seek God and His Will for you. He only needs a willingness and a heart for Him. He is willing! Are you?