RESET BUTTON

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year. It’s the hap-happiest season of all.”—-UMMMMM NOT so much!

So it’s been a WILD, BUSY ride lately! It’s been loud, not very nice, messy, and wedges and walls have been the result. Not to mention (but I am) some super bad attitudes and relationship strains!

So I DESPERATELY need a RESET BUTTON. You know like in electronics when things are wonky, you just preset the reset button and it all loads back up and is RIGHT again!!! SOOOOO that’s what I am doing! I am pressing the reset button!

I removed social media from my phone, unplugged the tv, set work hours with the computer, ordered some new curriculum, did a chalkboard wall, set goals for us all, came up with a different way to handle some less than stellar behaviors, wrote down SO SO SO many Bible verses , filled ALL the diffusers, paired some oils with prayers, made all my OILS ACCESSIBLE and am going to once again be INTENTIONAL about connecting with the hearts of my family. LIKE EVEN THE DOGS!

I mean THIS is THE time of the year for FAMILY but it ALWAYS seems to be the one that is the hardest! Do you ever feel like the things that are suppose to be about family and bring you closer ACTUALLY end up as a catalyst for an argument which can pull you apart?

FOR EXAMPLE….

Family Pictures– I yelled for about 2 hours while trying to figure out WHERE they hid their clothes and what color we were going to coordinate! But PRAISE JESUS the fighting didn’t last and the actual pictures and the end result were super fun!

family pic

OUR 10 YEAR ANNIVERSARY AND VOW RENEWAL– I had this grand idea of spending the day with my girls and pampering and fun going on, while the boys hung out and bonded and met us at the church. WELL THAT DID NOT HAPPEN! It was a DAY! I don’t even wanna throw an adjective in front of it, because yup, it was THAT BAD! But we made to the church, and Jesus and our friends, who have become family, settled, primped, and brought us back to L O V E!! And y’all this picture is my FAVORITE ever! And I haven’t even gotten the pics from our amazing photographer yet, so be expecting a WHOLE post of pics!!

vow renewal

Then there is Holiday Prep– I KEEP finding my stuff broken and a mess!! And this amazing time of the year that they MAKE FAMILY MOVIES ABOUT usually makes me NOT like my family!

So y’all I am throwing my expectations OUT, going to make myself connect and enjoy my children and the Holidays, slathering on StressAway, putting Joy on my liver and diffusing Christmas Spirit and I am starting TODAY!! Anyone else need to press the RESET BUTTON? If you decided to for any amount of time then let me know!

Praying for all us mommas and our families and that we would TRULY enjoy this magically time of the year!

 

 

My BIGGEST momma fear

Y’all this fear has recently taken root! A fear that is super hard to be dispelled. A fear that presents itself as TRUTH! A fear that one may never even be able to shake and can falsely shape the lives of my kids. A fear that each of us has to make a mental choice to overcome, forgive, take accountability for, and move past. A fear that can make you doubt so many things in life. A fear that can make you question everything.

THIS FEAR IS PERCEPTION!!

Not so much the perception of what others think of me BUT rather the perception my kids will think is truth. The definition of perception as defined by Merriam Webster is…

Definition of perception

1a :a result of perceiving :observation
b :a mental image :concept
2obsolete :consciousness
3a :awareness of the elements of environment through physical sensation 

  • colorperception
b :physical sensation interpreted in the light of experience
4a :quick, acute, and intuitive cognition :appreciation
b :a capacity for comprehension
SO why is this my fear. BECAUSE it is something we make. We take all of our experiences and memories and they shape our perceptions of what’s going on around us and shape the perceptions of people.
perception 1
A morning a couple weeks ago at MOPS brought this to my forethought and made me really plan on being intentional in my prayers. So what happened, THIS happened….
We are doing a Bible Study from the Cameron’s called The Heart of Family and a question in the 3rd session (Forgiveness and Joy) somehow got us talking about how we want our children to remember us and about wanting to them to remember us as JOYFUL!
SO Jess, why did that hit you so hard and get your brain turning? Well, one of my sweet friends shared a memory of her momma! She remembered her momma as always being tired and said how she worked a lot. YEARS later she remembered her momma as being tired! That was her perception! What I gleaned from her talking was that her momma was tired from working. She was tired because she was working. She was working because it helped her give her family the best she could. My perception and my friend’s perception were different.
SO it got me thinking about my own past and judgements I had made about my own family. Their truth is different than mine. My perception of my past may be completely wrong! What I perceive and the REAL intentions could be sooooooo DIFFERENT.
I started to translate that into my own parenting! I know my intentions towards my babies BUT what if they perceive differently! What if the time I am taking to write this post is seen as me valuing my “work” more than them. Let’s be real they are asked to be quiet or go away so I can get things done as fast as possible SO I can get back to them! What if they only remember me screaming and that’s their perception of their childhood. What if they remember their upbringing as constantly having to pick up and do schoolwork because we homeschool. Are we having enough FUN and making enough memories outside of of the daily grind with them? What if they think I am always so busy doing for others and don’t see the servant-hood I am trying to teach them.
perception
Y’all my BIGGEST fear is that the perception of who I am and their childhood will differ from my HEART AND the REAL INTENTIONS of my heart. I am literally in tears over the thought. I have some strong feeling of my own upbringing and familial relationships, what if I have it all wrong! If I am being honest I am certain I have quite a bit wrong and we may never truly know the magnitude! What if I am so hardened in my perception people stop trying.
perception 2
WHEW!! That’s a lot! I don’t have any answers but I am trying to be INTENTIONAL about helping their perceptions match up with my heart! HOW?? Here’s a few ways….
  • TELLING THEM and TRYING to make sure my actions match up
  • PRAYER, asking God to soften their hearts towards mine
  • Taking moments to make the memories I want them to have
  • ASKING them what they think!
  • USING ALL THE YOUNG LIVING CEDARWOOD….google it
  • REALLY using all oils for emotional support!!!!

Do you have any wisdoms or thoughts? I would love to hear them!!

Hangry,Whole30, & INTENTIONALITY

So it’s day 2 of semi-good days! It’s been 2 days of waking the kids up at 6:30 to be responsible for the TWO 3 month old puppies that joined our family of 8 over the weekend. It’s been 2 days of them cleaning up so the puppies don’t chew, sweeping and mopping floors twice a day because……..you guess it…….PUPPY PEE! They have KEPT their room clean ALL day! That one deserves some #PRAISEHANDS! It’s been 2 night of sticking to a bedtime routine. I know, I know 2 nights and routine probably don’t belong together in most people’s’ world, but 2 nights of the same thing (for the most part) is rocking MY world.

I NEEDED these last few days. I needed a glimpse of something good! I am doing Whole30 and on day 11 today! I have been hangry and not myself. I have been groggy and foggy. I am totally sure getting up with the hubs at 2am to make him breakfast and having a teething-nursing baby, and new puppies to clean up after and take out constantly has SO MUCH to do with it as well! Oh AND it was my birthday Sunday and my whole family quit Whole 30 but I didn’t, because who wants to start off a new year with failure? And I just happened to be super stubborn and immovable in almost everything so I refused to join them in carb heaven! It sure smelled good though!

Any who, this Whole30 thing for me is a RESET! I needed one. Ever feel stuck and stagnant? Like you’re circling the mountain? Every morning you wake up and say to yourself “today will be different! It just HAS to be” but your patience is shorter than the day before and you find yourself once again struggling? For me it’s yelling. I HATE it. It is what I dislike the most about myself. Oh, how I pray to be soft-spoken!

BUT in TRUE JESSICA LEDERER-ness I plan to tackle a LOT, to do this BIG….so food, finances, family, house ALL it is all getting a revamp! If you’ve ever done Whole30 you may understand, THIS THINGS IS LIKE A STINKING ROLLER COASTER RIDE and I wasn’t seeing any fruit. I have been even more horrible. My fuse shorter. People, use to love them all and now—-don’t like em. My lack of carbs and sugar and coffee as I knew it has seriously diminished my PC filter—I’m a little judgy.  I am craving nasty fast food that I wouldn’t normally eat, like totally fixated! Sleepy all the time with burning eyes and that fogginess that just wouldn’t (won’t) lift! And seriously who knew I could look more bloated? I’ve had 6 kids!! I digress though….I needed these past few days to help me get over that hump and keep the end goal in mind.

SO what’s the end goal? INTENTIONALITY! Not a smaller size, or inches off. Not losing weight. It’s about being intentional about my life. This was a tangible way for me to take control and change something! It has an end date! 30 days. That’s all. It is manageable. I need some kind of a timeline to be successful! I have a group for accountability. I have had amazing people join me and I can’t quit while they are still going! (That may be my competitiveness) SO ANYONE WANNA DO THIS FOR YELLING! Seriously! Is there a yelling challenge!

As I said INTENTIONAL is my goal! I found I wasn’t doing many of these things and THESE are what has help the past couple days! I’m not sure self-sabotage is what happened, I just literally could not see or think through to the next step. SO here’s some of my what I’ve added more of! What a transformation.

  • OIL UP! Yup, oil up buttercup! I can fight cravings, get some serious emotional and hormone support, much-needed digestive support, and even help my kiddos out when things are getting rough! I LOVE my oils and supplements but hadn’t been utilizing them as I should, so yesterday I made roller bottles for #ALLTHETHINGS!photo (2)
  • WATER and NINGXIA SPRITZERS!!! My skin is looking amazing and it helps me think I’m not as hangry as I am! And I can flavor with vitality oils so it doesn’t get boring!ningxia sprintzer
  • BULLETPROOF COFFEE and FROZEN BANANAS! Helps with mental clarity and the cinnamon bark vitality oil I add helps maintain healthy blood sugar levels among other amazing benefits! Freeze ripened bananas, throw in food processor until creamy, then add almond butter! SOOO good!
  • PUPPIES! Yup potty training can irk me BUT there’s something super therapeutic about snuggling a pup while watching THIS IS US!
  • BIBLE STUDY! God’s Word brings up body frequency! It is uplifting and powerful! Spending time with Him means I am reflecting a little of who He is! We start to become like the 5 people we spend the most time with! I do my best to make sure Jesus is one of them!IMG_4581
  • QUIET! As you can imagine for this momma of 6 kids and momma of 2 pups, quiet time helps me to catch my breath, breathe out, and pray!
  • SWEATER WEATHER!!! It’s only happened today but wearing riding boots was GLORIOUS!
  • TIME SLOTS! I hate to be late so scheduling is difficult for me. I break up morning, afternoon, and evening and each one has a top 3 and then a couple more bonus things. This has helped me to feel more productive and not like I am failing life.FullSizeRender (5)
  • PHOTO FILTERS and BELLY LAUGHS with my babes!

SO all what helps you cope? What are your struggles? ANYONE WANNA DO SOME KIND OF YELLING CHALLENGE?? <——-YUP I was serious!